Real Caucasian wedding

By Vestnik Kavkaza

The story of “a shooting wedding” which shaken the Russian society this autumn has got a surprising positive cultural effect. Web-sites and blogs on traditions of the Caucasus began to appear. The second Moscow Festival of Caucasian Peoples' Culture organized by the Russian Congress of the Caucasian Peoples, the government of Moscow, and the fund of Elbrusoid took place in the Izmailovo concert hall. The topic of the event was wedding traditions of the Caucasus peoples.

Khafiza Chuchayeva, the head of the project of the fund Elbrusoid

We all know that the socio-political situation in Russia leads to various myths about the culture of the Caucasian peoples. In the best case people think we are ignorant, in the worst – savage Caucasians. Our idea is to show the real, true culture of the Caucasian people in its variety, the variety of a region where more than 100 ethnic groups live. Of course, the format of the festival doesn’t enable us to involve all the peoples, because it would take a whole month to present everybody. The project is called the Moscow Festival of Caucasian Peoples' Culture; it is being conducted for the second time by the Russian Congress of the Caucasian Peoples, the government of Moscow and the fund of Elbrusoid. This time we draw attention to wedding traditions because it is an acute topic in the mass media. We decided to show Moscow and Muscovites what the real wedding traditions of the Caucasian people are. It will be quite interesting. We tried as much as possible to cover interesting and unusual wedding traditions, which have a very long history.

The most famous custom among the Ingush is that a husband never communicates with the relatives of his wife; at least, he tries to avoid this. Thus, the Ingush have no problem with mother-in-laws. Another custom, for example in Armenia, is that a marriage proposal takes place in three stages. Nobody agrees the first time, and a groom proposes three times. Weddings also have two stages: a mini-wedding in the fiancée’s house and a big wedding with a church ceremony in the groom’s house. Karachai-Balkars used to have a tradition in which the boldest horseman, a friend of the groom, enters the fiancé’s room riding a horse and has to reverse out of the room without damaging anything in the home. There are many various traditions. Azerbaijanis have many sweet customs which are aimed at showing that life will be sweet – a fiancé eats sweets. The other custom is that a fiancée’s hair, hands and feet are painted henna. By the way, they have the same tradition of celebrating weddings in two places – at the fiancé’s and groom’s houses. Cossacks have an interesting custom when the fiancé’s legacy is taken to the groom’s house a day before their wedding, before the fiancée steps into her future home. Ahead of the wedding the fiancée says goodbye to her home and sings a ceremonial song. Of course, we cannot state that all Cossacks celebrate weddings in such a way today. 

Tamta Puloriane, the head of the culture department of the Georgians Union of Russia 

Wedding traditions of Georgia depend on the region where the wedding takes place. But the general tradition existing in Georgia is celebrating a wedding twice. Firstly, it is celebrated at the fiancée’s house, and then on the same day it is celebrated at the groom’s house. When the guests come to the fiancée’s house, they are called “makleoni”, i.e. relatives of a groom. Then all guests, relatives of the fiancée and the groom, go to the groom’s house. The first thing which is done in the groom’s house is that his mother puts a plate on the floor and one of the newly-weds has to step on the plate and crush it. The person who steps on the plate first will be master in the house. Sometimes women step first, sometimes men, but according to old traditions the fiancée has to give way to her husband, as he was sure to be master in his own house. After crushing the plate, the groom should climb to the tallest tower or a roof of a building and set a white pigeon free. It means that peace, prosperity and calm will be in their house.

Elmira Kharakhanova

We present attributes for Azerbaijani weddings. Azerbaijani weddings are celebrated colourfully and interestingly. The traditions are centuries-old. Weddings are joyful and bright. Of course we have national customs. On the wedding day everybody comes to the fiancée with presents, nobody has to come with empty hands. She receives many various presents. They are carried not in common boxes, but in beautiful, decorated, bright boxes called “khoncha.” Guests present gold, perfumes, make up, and other presents in beautiful boxes. One of the main attributes is a mirror. Many people ask why a mirror is carried in Azerbaijani weddings. It is carried in front of the fiancée, a woman carries it, for all bad and negative sights directed at the fiancée fall on the mirror. All sights would fall on the mirror and none of them on the beautiful fiancée, so nobody can hex her. A red ribbon is put around the fiancée’s waist. It is a symbol which ties the fiancée to her new family, not in a direct sense of course. She becomes a new family member. Several days ahead of an Azerbaijani wedding there is a bridal shower. Girls from both families come together and spend the night talking, communicating, dancing. The fiancée’s hand is painted with henna that night. this is done so everybody knows that in a few days the girl will get married. Other girls can paint their fingers too, as they are bridesmaids and they mark that in several days such a wonderful event as a wedding will take place in their house. I think Azerbaijani weddings are interesting, bright, joyful, nice, family. They last for a whole day. Earlier in the Caucasus and in Azerbaijan weddings were celebrated for three days. As there used to be no restaurants, tents were pitched, people wore national costumes and ate national dishes, such as dolma and pilaw. Today we try to preserve our traditions and culture, even though we live in Moscow, far from home.

Denga Khalidov, the co-chair of the RKNK

The new family should not see the relatives of each other at all among Vainakhs. A husband shouldn’t see his father-in-law or mother-in-law. In Dagestan there are no such strict rules, but one rule is the main one – if a daughter is married off, her parents have no right to interfere with the life of the new family, and the husband’s parents have no such right either. It is our instinct, we got this custom from our mother’s milk; almost everybody respects it.

Zaira Aliyeva, member of the association Dagestan Youth 

A wedding is normally celebrated on one day. But in some villages it is marked for several days. On the first day it is celebrated in the fiancée’s house; on the second day – in the groom’s house. The reason is that sometimes a groom and a bride are from different villages, and they cannot celebrate their wedding only in one place or the number of guests is so big that they cannot celebrate together simultaneously.