Timur Utsayev, Grozny. Exclusively to Vestnik Kavkaza
Traditionally, in Chechen families a lot of attention is paid to the upbringing of children. According to experts, for a Chechen, children are not only a necessity, but a duty to society. A Chechen must help the child to emerge as a personality, to cultivate a worthy member of society - not for the family, or clan, but for the whole of society.
The content of the moral education, the demands of the moral code relating to children and young people in the Chechen folk tradition is revealed in the spirit of universal morality, but at the same time reflects the national characteristics of the Chechens.
Pre-revolutionary historians also had an interest in the Chechen traditions of raising boys. Answering their question of why parents do not beat their children, fathers and mothers said: "We want them to grow up as human beings." A famous Russian expert on the Caucasus, Adolf Berger, claimed that the Chechens never beat their sons, because they fear that they will become cowards. They do not beat or scold their sons, so that they do not know fear. Chechen historians cite psychologists, who argue that a man who has experienced fear can become an oppressor. In the worst case, the Chechens believed, the soul could be taken away from such a person. But he who does not feel the fear and does not yield to this feeling is mentally healthy. It is said that if a Chechen is afraid of something, it could be only shame or fear of losing face.
However, this does not mean that a boy grew up in an atmosphere of permissiveness. Chechens attached great importance to family education, and it was supposed to take place systematically. The mother played a huge role, she had to control the child, and, if necessary, spank. Observing the distance, father and son communicated through the mother. But the father was the core of education, he was the role model and an ideal to aspire to. A mother’s punishment was considered so shameful, especially since it is usually happened only during the first years of life.
"There was no physical punishment as such, but there was education by word, persuasion and suggestion, they played a major role. I remember how mother sometimes scolded, but it was of a different nature, she never humiliated or insulted me. The Chechens have a custom, that at any age, when a father calls his son, the latter should come and stand at the door jamb. Listening to the farther, he should not be complaining, because it's his father - he brought me up, blessed me, and it must be respected. Respect must be displayed not only in relation to father and mother, but also to aunt or uncle. You can not interfere into an adult conversation, you may speak only when they ask you to. Although mother was involved in the education of her sons, but the father was the driving force. He never demonstrated his power, never abused mother or child. Typically, farther were judged by the behavior of their sons, what role did he played in the upbringing," the historian Murad Nashkhoev says.
Chechens delegated to children a certain task based on their abilities and skills. Rules of conduct, labor traditions were passed down to children in the family, they were taught from an early age that they should comply with the requests and instructions of their elders, to assist each other in work and in life. Here, the personal example of parents and elders, remains the best means of transmission of traditions. In the family upbringing of Chechens a significant role was played by the etiquette. All aspects of etiquette have been designed by previous generations, as can be seen at the example of the table manners. Thus, according to the rules, children and young people were not supposed to sit down at the table before parents and older people, or to take the place of an older person, or talk during meals.
Chechen folklore is a true treasurer of pedagogics. Here you can find lots of ideas and methods of moral education. One of the parables tells about the visit of a guest to a home where the parents favored their child, and indulged all his whims. The boy kept disturbing the guest, who was talking to the father. When the men sat down at the table, the boy pulled a piece of meat out from the guest ‘s plate. This was the last straw for the guest, and he gave the boy a slap in the face. The mother rushed to calm the crying baby, and the father explained, this is their only child. "The only one, and besides, not a man! Where do you put your grief?"
Chechens attached great importance to various games and competitions (running, throwing stones, horse riding, wrestling), during which the children received physical training. They were gradually accustomed to the male labor - to graze cattle and take care of it, chop wood, carry the harvest off the field on a cart. From an early age, boys were accustomed to riding, caring for horses, and also taught endure hardship, to temper the character. As a rule, the lessons start with simple instructions and were completed with the mastery of independent work. Seven-year-old boys were taught to ride a horse, shoot a bow and were taught military science - and it does not matter what the Vainakhs were warlike - it was a kind of training.
To be continued
