Pyotr Lyukimson, Israel. Exclusively to Vestnik Kavkaza
On the eve of Pesach, the wedding season is coming to an end in Israel. 49 days after the first day of Pesach the Shavuot holiday is observed. In order to commemorate the 33 days of the epidemic which struck the Jewish camp during the uprising of Bar-Kokhba (2 c. A.D.), these days are considered days of mourning. This means that within 33 days after Pesach no weddings can be held. In summer three weeks of mourning are held in order to mark the anniversary of the siege of Jerusalem and the destruction of the Temple. During this period weddings are also prohibited. This is why the wedding season starts in the end of summer.
85 percent of Jewish couples living in Israel prefer a religious ceremony during their wedding. However, religious ceremonies differ greatly from one another, depending on whether the couple belong to an Orthodox community or not.
The ceremony of a Jewish wedding is the same as it was thousands of years ago. The day before a wedding the bride has to visit a ritual pool or Mikvah. After bathing in it she is believed to be ritually clean. This ritual purity is essential for kosher intercourse. This is why the wedding should be held at least one week after the last period. The bride's girlfriends and aunt (but not her mother) often accompany her on her way to the Mikvah. A bridal shower is held after that. In some Jewish communities the groom is also expected to visit the Mikvah. Within three or even seven days before the wedding the bride and the groom are not allowed to see each other or even talk by phone.
The ceremony itself starts one day before the actual wedding. While the guests enjoy wine and appetizers, the Rabbi asks the groom, his father, the bride's father and the best man to sign the Ketubah, a special form of Jewish prenuptial agreement. According to this agreement, the man must provide for his wife and perform sexually as well as pursue her whims. The Ketubah also specify the amount of money the husband is obliged to pay his wife in case of divorce. The figure normally depends on the husband's wealth and constitutes from 6 to 600 thousand US dollars. One should note that this is not just a formality, Israeli courts demand that the money is indeed paid if the couple splits up. The only exception is a divorce based on the wife's infidelity.
When the Ketubah is signed, two men lead the groom to the bride, who waits for him seated on a throne with her face covered with a veil. The groom is expected to raise it and see if it is indeed his fiancée. This is a very important part of the ritual. It commemorates the marriage of Jacob and Rachel, who was replaced by Liah. When the groom makes certain that no such thing has taken place, he nods.
Then the parents lead the couple to the wedding canoy or the Chuppah. After that, the Rabbi demonstrates the wedding ring and notes whether it is gold or silver. Then the wedding itself is held. The ritual is very simple. The groom puts the ring on the bride's finger and says: "Behold, you are consecrated to me with this ring according to the law of Moses and Israel."
The guests then chant: "Mekudeshet! Mekudeshet! Mekudeshet!" which means "Consecrated!" Then come seven blessings and the married couple breaks a glass. This tradition marks the destruction of the Temple.
Then the couple is led to a separate room, where they are left alone for at least half an hour. During this time no one is expected to dance and the music should not be loud. The actual celebration starts only after the husband and wife consummate their marriage. Only after that are they believed to be legally married.
During a secular ceremony this tradition is only symbolic, but for a religious couple it is very important. The couple may not have sex, but they do kiss and touch each other in an intimate manner, which is prohibited for unmarried people. Religious Jews observe this regulation carefully.
Orthodox Jews often put a special partition between the men's and the women's parts of the hall in which the ceremony is being held. Men are strictly prohibited from entering the women's part of the room. However, women may stand before the entrance into the men's part and watch their husbands and sons dancing.
The bride often sits on a throne in the middle of the women's part of the hall and all the women come to her for a blessing. Jews believe that on the wedding days the heavens "open" upon her head and the God himself listens the prayers.
The wedding ends when the just married couple leaves the hall in order to have a wedding night. For many religious girls it is indeed their first sexual encounter, even though the marriage age is rather high in Israel.
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Vestnik Kavkaza congratulates the head of the Azerbaijan-Israel Association Lev Spivak on the wedding of his daughter Yevgeniya and wishes the newly-married couple a lifetime of happiness.
